Did I Miss Something?

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My supervisor trotted excitedly into the circulation area. “Did you feel that?” she asked, flush-faced and bright-eyed.

“Feel what?” I was heaving textbooks onto a re-shelving cart and stopped, holding the math books like a stack of pizza boxes.

“The earthquake. I was in tech services and we felt the whole wing rattle. Didn’t you feel it out here?”

Yes, dear readers, the earthquake that rattled the east coast yesterday rattled Anytown as well, and more than a few of Anytown’s residents. For the rest of the afternoon I had people asking me if I had felt the tremors.

Truth is, I didn’t. Sorry folks. No shakin’. Nadda.

It’s the story of my life, really. It seems like every time something monumental happens, I’m checked out. And I’m not just talking about world scene type stuff. I’m talking about break-ups, birthdays, weddings, major surgeries, deaths, inside jokes.

Especially break-ups. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked a girl how things are going with What’s-his-name only to have her burst into tears and sob her way through a detailed explanation of her relationship’s untimely demise. It’s embarrassing.

And inside jokes! I’ll be having a conversation with two friends and they’ll suddenly burst out laughing—when I ask for an explanation, all I get is a giggled “you had to have been there.” Thanks guys.

Recently I was talking to my mom about a mutual friend. She was chatting along about this girl when she suddenly used her name in conjunction with some guy’s. “…and she and John went and did such and such…”. “Wait. Who?” “John,” she said. “John who?” “Her husband John.” “She’s married!?” “Four years now.” Huh. Good to know.

Deaths are even worse. I went over to a good friend’s house, and noticed the absence of her dog. I ask where the dog is and she tells me with pain in her eyes, “We had her put down two months ago.” Stink it. If people would just tell me these things I wouldn’t come across as insensitive all the time.

Of course, with a history like that, it’s only natural that I should miss a whole blessed earthquake. Go figure.

(This post is dedicated to menolly42, who was disappointed that since I didn’t feel the earthquake it wouldn’t make today’s post. Thank you, menolly42, for giving me such a fabulous idea.)

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7 responses »

  1. Haha!

    I didn’t feel it either – but that’s because I was bumping along outside on the riding lawn mower. Apparently our light fixtures were swinging back and forth and everything…..

  2. I’m honored, truly honored!! And it made me laugh! 🙂 Don’t worry, I saved it for the office partner’s lunch, so I can laugh out loud.

  3. I didn’t feel a thing either, and I’m two blocks from UU, so don’t feel too bad.
    Mama and siblings, several miles south of here felt it and an aftershock or two. Cousins in NJ and Grandma in PA felt it too. Wow. Must have been a big one.

  4. “I feel the earth…uh..move..under my feet”……that’s a good sign that you didn’t feel it. Earthquake movements are overrated. Funny post and if you’re the king of those situations, I must be the queen:) I recently asked a girl (who I remembered pregnant) how her baby was doing and she paused to then tell me that her baby was very ill and died 4 months after birth. If I could have crawled into any nearby space, I would have. Isn’t that horrible? Now how did I miss that????

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