Homer Nods


The universe is immeasurable. Our galaxy is immense, and it is only a speck of dust compared to the boundless ocean of space that rolls out to the fringes of the unknown. In this universe there are particles, atoms, solids, liquids, gasses, humans, animals, and plants. There are 7 billion humans on this planet, and those are only the ones still living and not counting the figures of the past. And then humans have souls just as immeasurable and unfathomable as the universe they inhabit.  

You’d think that from this cavernous gulf teeming with all sorts of fascinating life and unfolding history and transmogrifying cultures, I’d be able to scrap together enough thoughts to form a topic for this blog post.

The universe, as far as we know, has no visible boundaries. My brain, however, has very visible boundaries that stretch from one ear to the other, and all the thoughts of the universe have no room in this finite space. Therefore, all I can think about at the moment is how fun rehearsal was, how much I have to do tomorrow, and how very, very tired I am, none of which are topics worth exploring. I could tell you, but who in their right mind would sit there and listen to me complain?

I’m afraid, dearest readers, that all I could offer you right now would be trite truisms and meaningless song lyrics applied loosely to life’s tumultuous circumstances, and you can go to other blogs for that kind of thing.

My goal, normally, is to make you laugh. But I discovered long ago that I cannot force myself to be funny. All I can do is remind you that the opposite of irony is wrinkly, and that if you watch Godzilla backwards, it’s about a giant lizard which helps rebuild a half-burnt-down city, then moonwalks into the ocean, neither of which are thoughts that are original to me.

So there you have it. I have scraped the bottom of my universe’s barrel for your amusement. Even Homer nods, and soon I’ll be nodding off myself.


14 responses »

  1. So…..
    I thought this post was funny. However, I am on the brink of exhaustion (not to mention insanity), and am neither to be trusted nor taken seriously. In other words: everything is funny right now.
    I hope you get some sleep, climb mount improbable (yikes, Dawkins reference. It really is bed time), and have a wonderful Tuesday. Take a scarf. It’s supposed to be frost giant weather tomorrow.

  2. I laughed, too, and it’s early in the morning after a good night’s sleep. Therefore, I conclude that your post is actually, in reality, truly funny! 🙂

  3. Sometimes one universe isn’t enough for thought scraping… scrapping??? Whatever. That is why my novel contains all the universes. It is just easier that way to… uh… scrap my thoughts.

  4. The Dadster Ripostes:

    OK–I did a double-take on the irony/wrinkly comment. It made me smile.

    The image of Godzilla moonwalking backwards into the ocean, however, brought back great memories. Unlike many of your readers, I actually grew up watching the original Japanese “horror” genre–Godzilla, Ultraman, and all the others. Campy though they were, they were my generation’s version of “Halloween” or “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

    Scary? Not so much.

    Hilarious? Oh, yeah.

    So, all together now!

    “Oh, no, they say he’s got to go
    Go go Godzilla
    Oh, no, there goes Tokyo
    Go go Godzilla.”

    (With apologies to Donald Roeser and company!)


    The Dadster

  5. I thought your post was funny too. I’m studying microbes in Essential Science class, along with extremophiles and tubeworms living on the bottom of some of the deepest parts of the ocean. Starting to realize just how diverse the creature life on this world is. Wow! I definitely would not have been able to think up all of those creatures, never mind keep each of them living moment by moment! We have a great God!

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