I’m not entirely sure where this whole “April Fool’s Day” thing got started. Why is it that, on the first day of April, the clever and mischievous people of the world pull pranks on those of us not quite clever enough to come up with good ones?
In my twenty short years of living, I have only pulled off one successful April Fools prank. Last year on this day, I wrote a blog post announcing that I was going to give up blogging for other pursuits. By that point I had about 200 followers and 25 subscribers, one of whom was my mother, who panicked until she got to the last sentence when I wished the world a happy April 1st.
I fooled one person. She wasn’t too happy with me at the time.
I thought this year that I might try to prank part of the world again by announcing something outrageous on The Risible Rambler. Like declaring that I’m leaving college to join a band of Romanian gypsies and rove around Europe for a few years. Or declaring that I’ve been a closet dog-lover for years and I’m going out tomorrow to adopt a dozen Siberian huskies. Or that I’m not really American, but I’m a British student at Cambridge impersonating an American online for an ongoing social experiment (also, I’m male). Or like announcing my engagement to an independently wealthy son of a publishing tycoon (the wedding is in November and we’re honeymooning in New Zealand). Or that by day I am a mere mild-mannered knitting librarian but by night I don a cape and mask and fight crime as a superhero. Or that I (I, who can barely remember what 2+2 is) am switching my major to accounting.
But I can’t even convince myself, not even for a nanosecond, that any of those things could possibly be true. There’s no way I could fool any of you. Therefore I will leave the pranking to the clever people of the world, and simply wish you all a happy April 1st.