Most of my friends share a common difficulty. We’ve come to that place in the semester where our bodies are demanding more sleep than we have time to give them. I have friends telling me that for several mornings in a row, they apparently turned off their alarm clocks in their sleep and woke up an hour later, by that point having missed their first hour classes. Others report having turned off all three of their alarms in their sleep, some of which were hidden in different corners of the room so they’d have to get up and search for the source of the noise before turning it off. In short, sleep is creeping like kudzu over the lives of the UU student body, whether we like it or not.
The thing is, I don’t have this problem. While most of my classmates find themselves accidentally sleeping in 30 extra minutes, I keep waking up 30 minutes early. For a week now, I have not slept a night without waking up and hour or 30 minutes sooner than I need to. My sleep-deprived brain is purposefully depriving itself of more sleep.
I can’t even pretend to understand this phenomenon.
I exercise regularly and eat healthy. I’m not particularly stressed out, nor do I have any lingering or persistent anxieties. I take melatonin before bed. I drink special herbal sleep-aid tea on hour before I want to sleep. I’m really, really tired 80% of the time. You’d think that getting a solid night’s sleep wouldn’t be an issue. But apparently my brain just can’t handle all the help I’m giving it.
This has been the case for years. I want to sleep, but I never get as much as I think I need. It used to frustrate me that all of my attempts at getting decent sleep have been thwarted over the past couple of years. Now I’ve come to the point where I accept sleeplessness as part of my fate. Somehow, in the great scheme of things, the fact that I can’t get a solid night’s sleep is a crucial cog in the mechanism of destiny. Somehow, my sleeplessness will play an invaluable role in the history of the world. Yeah. That’s it.
At least I don’t end up accidentally missing class.