Things Inquiring Minds Want to Know

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  1. Is the glass half full or half empty?
  2. How much wood would woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  3. Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?
  4. How many licks does it really take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
  5. Why have Patrick Stewart, Will Smith, and Robert Downey Jr. not aged over the last ten years?
  6. What’s the name of the lady they recorded to do those obnoxious voicemail messages?
  7. Why doesn’t the groom march down the aisle at the beginning of a wedding?
  8. Why do dogs think they have to bark at everything that moves?
  9. How does an elephant pack his trunk?
  10. Why do we have one goose and two geese, but not one moose and two meese?
  11. Why do Americans call fried potato slices “French fries,” but the Bristish call them “chips.” Related question: why do they call chips “crisps”—or why do we call “crisps” “chips?”
  12. Why is traffic only bad when you’re in a hurry?
  13. When did women start wearing makeup?
  14. Why do we refer to pants in pairs, but never singularly? Why not save a syllable or two and call a “pant leg” a “pant”?
  15. Why are unpleasant people popular?
  16. Why don’t we call “butterflies” “flutterbys?” Because that’s what they do…they flutter by.
  17. Why is the bed impossibly uncomfortable when you’re trying to get to sleep, but a comfy as a cloud when it’s time to get up?
  18. Why can’t we pronounce 111 “eleventy one?”
  19. Why does time only fly when you’re having fun?
  20. Why does school have to start in less than a month?
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2 responses »

  1. 2. As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

    5. Earl Grey tea, the fountain of youth, and money, respectively.

    (Neither of those answers are original to me)

  2. This inquiring mind has always wondered: Why did the chicken cross the road? … and related question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

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