I don’t know what it is about senior year, but it has me looking back over my shoulder a lot. I’m missing things. I’m missing good times. I’m missing people.
I’m remembering that first literary society outing I went on as a freshman. I’m remembering our gallivanting through a corn maze for an hour, then eating barbecue, then gathering around a bonfire and singing songs until it was time to go back to campus. That was a wonderful night.
I’m remembering my grandparents. They’re both in heaven now. I miss them. I especially miss them the closer I get to Christmas. I was talking about them tonight, and talking about them made me think for a moment that they were still alive and I could go talk to them. But they aren’t. So I can’t. And I miss them.
I’m remembering high school. I know, I know, I talk about missing high school way too much on this blog, but my high school years were wonderful. Yes, I know that’s rare. But I formed lasting, life-changing friendships in high school and experienced things that made me who I am now. I ran into a high school friend today. His life is far from what it was four years ago. He is a different person. Only time will tell if that is a good or a bad thing. Talking to him made me miss the old days.
Listen to me. I’m too young to have “old days.”
I’m remembering last year. Last year was a great year. Last year was a fabulous year. Last year was the best year I could have imagined for myself. Last year was a rebuilding year, a discovering year, a liberating year. Last year I built a fire that hasn’t stopped burning.
But somehow I’m afraid it will.
Ah, well. Time is time. Time does what it does, and it passes, and we grow and we learn. Nothing stays the same forever, however much we may wish that it might.
Sometimes things get better.
Isn’t that wonderful?