The Struggle


Maybe it’s not a real struggle. Maybe it is. But I have the hardest time getting to bed.

I come back to the apartment at 7:30, usually sweaty from a run. I cart in armloads of apartment things in addition to my purse, duffle bag, lunch box, water bottle, and keys. I wash the lunch containers. I fix tomorrow’s lunch. I bled tomorrow’s smoothies. I take a shower. I write a blog post. By then, it’s 11:30. It’s not that I’m not moving quickly, because I am. I really am.

Maybe it’s the puttering. I get distracted by tasks I discover while doing other tasks. For example, I’ll be washing my lunch Tupperware when I notice the coffee grounds on the counter from making coffee the night before (to drink in the morning—no caffeine for me at night), so I sweep them into the sink.. Then I notice the spots on the floor from making stir-fry chicken, so I wipe them up. Then I notice even more spots on the oven, so I scrub them away. Then I want tea, so I make it. Then I wash the mug when I’m finished and put away the tea bag box and wipe the counter (however little of it there may be). And, and, and.

It’s like the adult version of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” “If you give an apartment dweller a framed photo, she’ll want a hammer and a nail to hang it on….”

By then, it’s late. I check email. I browse Pinterest and look up a recipe or two, a remedy for this or that (fifteen minutes max, I promise). I go to write a blog post and surprise, surprise, I’m out of inspiration. Again.

But I write anyway, because that’s how I roll.

Now it’s 11:30, and I haven’t brushed my teeth or taken out my contact lenses. 11:40 sees the lights off and me curled under the blankets, trying to derail my every-chugging train of thought long enough to slip into Dreamland.

Then up at 5:55 to pretend to be awake for the next 17 hours.

Tonight will be different. Tonight, the post is being written early. Tonight I won’t try to post an image, a project that took me an hour last night, either by fault of WordPress or my tablet. No, you just get words.

Hopefully they are relatable enough to be humorous. 


2 responses »

  1. Is writing blog so important ritual ?
    Life is short and you struggle work unimportant things. Get over with the need to write concentrate on getting few minutes of extra rest.

Ramble back at me...

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