Allow me irriterate for the umpteenth time that grad school and undergrad are two completely different ball games.
In undergrad, I had to be back in my room by 10:30 pm. Then there’d be a fifteen-minute room meeting. Then at 10:45 I’d scramble out for a shower and scramble back before 11:00, when we all had to be back in our rooms so the custodial girls could clean the bathrooms and hallways undisturbed. THen it was lights out at 12:00–a rule I’m grateful for, otherwise I might never have slept.
I’m used to the 11:00-12:00 hour being pretty useless. There’s only so much you can do in an hour when you’re trying to brush your teeth, put on pajamas, get your things ready for the next day….write a blog post with some meaning to it. So I’m used to sort of frittering away this hour.
However, grad school is different. I don’t have that meeting at 10:30 any more. I can come back as late as I want or as early as I want. I can even stay up as late as I want.
Yet I seem to get less done in this hour than I ever have before. I think it’s because I feel like I have so much more time, so I waste just that much more time.
I’m a bit ashamed of myself. I only have so many hours in the day to be doing profitable things, but I don’t always do them. I excuse myself by saying I’m too tired to work, too addle-brained to write anything worthwhile. But with a little sticktoitiveness, I could get so much more done in the evenings and still get to bed before tomorrow.
There’s a confession for the ether to swallow. I’m working on it. I’ll always allow myself to be a work in progress. But this is one area that needs to improve…and improve fast.