College kills. Well, not really, but sometimes it feels like it’s killing me. I’m glad for the intellectual and spiritual maturity my undergrad years have brought me, but every late night leaves me feeling a little older than 22. Maybe even a lot older than 22.
So here you have it: the Rambler list of damage done by going to college.
- Worse eyesight–from long nights in front of a computer screen.
- Hormonal roller coasters–puberty was cake compared to what college did to my endocrine system.
- Slower everything–at the start of college, I could power walk across campus in ten minutes flat. Now all I can do is amble and chuckle at the whippersnappers who walk like their shoes are burning.
- Shorter attention span–needing to complete everything in a hurry means I learned how to skim and forgot how to read. It takes mammoth effort to sink my teeth into a book and really absorb it–even fiction, which I adore.
- Crunchy neck–rolling my neck brings a symphony of crackle to my ears. It’s like there’s a bag of gravel at the base of my neck that crunches every time I move it.
- Tense jaw–you’d be amazed how much tension you carry in your jaw. You’re probably clenching your teeth without knowing it.
- Yellow teeth–from all the coffee that fueled my GPA.
- Thinner hair–from pulling it out over stressful projects.
- Bags under my eyes–black ones. They get puffier when I’m more tired than usual.
- No tolerance for nonsense–I lived in a dorm full of crazed, tired, hormonal, overwrought women for four years. I’ve seen it all. Bring it.