If You Give a Grad Student an Assignment


If you give a grad student an assignment, she will probably ask to take a nap first.

If you let her take a nap, then she’ll want a snack when she wakes up.

When you give her a snack, she’ll probably want to check Facebook for a while, because it’s hard to do assignments while you’re eating.

If you let her check Facebook, she’ll see a link to a personality quiz that sounds really interesting and she’ll click on it.

Once she takes the quiz, she’ll have to look up the name of the film character whose personality matches hers because she’s never seen that movie.

After she reads the movie’s plot synopsis, she’ll want to look up a few clips of the movie on YouTube.

She might notice that her keyboard is filthy, so she’ll need a damp paper towel to clean it.

She might clean the screen, too.

And also her whole apartment.

After her apartment is clean, she will buckle down and look through all her syllabi so see what’s ahead for the next few weeks.

When she sees how much is due in the month of March, she’ll want to write due dates down in her planner so she won’t forget.

And when she opens her planner, she’ll see that there’s an assignment written down that’s due tomorrow.

And if she sits down to work on the assignment…she’ll probably want a nap to go with it.


9 responses »

  1. So funny but so true. I’ve been feeling the same way in wanting to do everything except what really needs to get done the most.

Ramble back at me...

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