Tag Archives: lists

Perks of Having a Husband (At Least, Perks of Having MY Husband)

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  1. He’s good at surprises.
  2. He enjoys cooking. And the resulting meals are delicious.
  3. He has more experience doing laundry than I do.
  4. Free hugs.
  5. He’s handy with computers. And numbers. And I’m not.
  6. He comes with a Netflix account and a Spotify account.
  7. He carefully selects the music he’ll have playing when I get home.
  8. He’s good at installing or dismantling things, like taking down shower doors and replacing them with a shower curtain.
  9. He also enjoys sleeping with the AC going full blast and a fan on.
  10. He helps me write blog posts.
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Here are some fun facts about the wedding that won’t make it into the program:

  1. The paper flowers in the bouquets and boutonnieres are made from retired bound volumes of periodicals from the library where the bride worked for five years.
  2. The decorative netting used in some of the corsages are cut from the yards and yards of netting from the removed underskirt of the bride’s mother’s wedding dress.
  3. The ring the bride is wearing on her right hand belonged to her grandmother, who gave it to the bride’s mother mother on her 16th birthday.
  4. The pennant flags decorating the reception hall and the ceremony space are cut from old maps used in the classroom of the couple’s university for the last who-knows-how-many-decades. They were donated to the wedding by one of UU’s best beloved history teachers.
  5. Some of the decorations at the rehearsal dinner are music boxes that belonged to the bride’s maternal grandparents.
  6. The sun and moon pendants worn by the bride and groom were commissioned by the bridesmaids and were modeled after a drawing done by the bride as an illustration for her book.
  7. Muffins are being served at the reception for three reasons:
    1. The reception takes place early enough to be called a brunch.
    2. The bride and groom use “muffin” as a pet name. The groom goes by “blueberry muffin” and the bride is “chocolate muffin,” the two flavors available.
    3. The church’s youth group (taught by the bride and groom) call themselves “The Mighty Muffin-Eaters,” a tribute to their propensity to eat a ton of the muffins that one of our church members makes for Sunday School every week.
  8. All of the children playing a role in the wedding are members of the aforementioned youth group. The bride grew up with most of them and considers them to be her younger siblings.
  9. The groomsmen’s boutonnieres are paper airplanes placed as a subtle nod to the Disney animated short Paperman, a cartoon that the bride and groom particularly love.
  10. The bride and groom are getting married a year and two days after they told each other “I love you” for the first time.

Thursday List

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  1. There are some astonishing things that can be made from leftovers.
  2. When one is about to get married, getting dishes in the mail becomes a regular occurrance.
  3. It’s possible to spend hours on a single email.
  4. I speak fluent English, partial German, and a little Nerd.
  5. It’s the empty walls that get to me the most.
  6. Edward Gorey was a macabre genius.
  7. This 12:300-6:30 sleep schedule won’t do.
  8. Running actually alleviates soreness from previous exercises.
  9. Stretching with cold muscles doesn’t.
  10. My wedding dress is a thing of beauty, and I can’t wait to wear it for real.

Tuesday List

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  1. A pantry full of healthy food, and all I want is M&Ms.
  2. Day Two of the new job, and i still have no idea why they thought I would be good at this.
  3. And don’t ask me what “this” is. I still have no idea.
  4. This apartment is a mess.
  5. I need to sleep more.
  6. Also, write more.
  7. Also, my new office has a map of Middle Earth on the back wall now, so I’d say I’m pretty well settled in.
  8. Just kidding. Party doesn’t start until the unicorn statue makes it onto my desk.
  9. I sat at a desk all day. Then I came home, did yoga, then sat some more. This can’t be good for me.
  10. Three more days. Then weekend. One week closer to the wedding.

Friday List

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  1. Somehow, I survived this week unscathed.
  2. My neck is making new popping noises.
  3. So much for not drinking coffee anymore.
  4. I should probably go grocery shopping because there’s dust where my food used to be.
  5. There are books all over this apartment, but not on shelves where they belong.
  6. Also, there are shoes everywhere. It’s like whoever lives here is too tired to put shoes away. Huh.
  7. Should have gone running. Should have gone running. Should have gone running.
  8. Sixty-four days. Sixty-four days. Sixty-four days.
  9. I think the knots in my shoulders have knots.
  10. Yet, in spite of it all…I am content. Life is good. God is great. Grace is astonishing.

Thursday Thoughts

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  1. Sometimes the only thing that works is chocolate and hugs.
  2. Always make time for old friends.
  3. And always carry a notebook, because sometimes smash poetry happens and unless you have some paper nearby to snatch it up with, it’ll flit away and you’re left without your work of utter genius.
  4. It is either a really good idea or a really bad idea to ask a raging feminist her honest opinion of The Taming of the Shrew.
  5. Autocorrect doesn’t.
  6. A little quinoa goes a long way.
  7. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing. No one does.
  8. It never hurts to ask.
  9. When you run out of film ideas, it seems that your best bet is to either do a remake of an old film or a live action version of a beloved cartoon. Or a remake of a remake. Or a cartoon of a remake.
  10. Tomorrow’s Friday. For now, let that be enough.

Questions Asked Daily

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In no particular order:

  1. Will I ever write that book?
  2. I wonder what the soup of the day at the dining common is?
  3. What on earth is due tomorrow?
  4. How many hours do I need to be clocked in today?
  5. How many days until I get married?
  6. I wonder if there will be any hot water left by the time I get back to the apartment or if the neighbors will have used it all?
  7. Is tonight a good night to make brownies?
  8. Where on earth did that book get off too????
  9. Where did I leave my _________ ?
  10. Did I forget something?

Surprises

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  1. Snow converts itself to puddles twice as quickly when you really don’t want to go to class in the afternoon.
  2. No matter how much sleep you get, you’ll still doze off after lunch.
  3. It’s possible to make a serving of cake in a mug.
  4. Those keys I found after I’d lost them were not actually my keys.
  5. The gym is not closed tomorrow, nor is tomorrow the 28th.
  6. March is next week.
  7. Also, 60 degree temperatures.
  8. Someone RSVPed on our wedding website.
  9. Lady Gaga can actually sing like a human being.
  10. Tomorrow’s Friday. Wasn’t expecting that.

Productivity

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Productivity has many definitions.

Mine is the result of the following conditions:

  1. Plenty of sleep.
  2. Just enough food.
  3. Frequent exercise.
  4. Smashing outfits.
  5. An hour of focused work.
  6. Occasional game breaks.
  7. Another hour or two of focused work.
  8. Task lists.
  9. Lots of water.
  10. A clean work environment.
  11. Bed by midnight.

And if I can work nap and yoga breaks in there, well, the more will get done.

Otherwise I just feel like a slob and you can forget about it.

The Damage

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College kills. Well, not really, but sometimes it feels like it’s killing me. I’m glad for the intellectual and spiritual maturity my undergrad years have brought me, but every late night leaves me feeling a little older than 22. Maybe even a lot older than 22.

So here you have it: the Rambler list of damage done by going to college.

  1. Worse eyesight–from long nights in front of a computer screen.
  2. Hormonal roller coasters–puberty was cake compared to what college did to my endocrine system.
  3. Slower everything–at the start of college, I could power walk across campus in ten minutes flat. Now all I can do is amble and chuckle at the whippersnappers who walk like their shoes are burning.
  4. Shorter attention span–needing to complete everything in a hurry means I learned how to skim and forgot how to read. It takes mammoth effort to sink my teeth into a book and really absorb it–even fiction, which I adore.
  5. Crunchy neck–rolling my neck brings a symphony of crackle to my ears. It’s like there’s a bag of gravel at the base of my neck that crunches every time I move it.
  6. Tense jaw–you’d be amazed how much tension you carry in your jaw. You’re probably clenching your teeth without knowing it.
  7. Yellow teeth–from all the coffee that fueled my GPA.
  8. Thinner hair–from pulling it out over stressful projects.
  9. Bags under my eyes–black ones. They get puffier when I’m more tired than usual.
  10. No tolerance for nonsense–I lived in a dorm full of crazed, tired, hormonal, overwrought women for four years. I’ve seen it all. Bring it.

Facts

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  1. Christmas Break is never, ever, ever long enough.
  2. Students should leave the book shelving to the librarians. We’ll lose fewer books that way.
  3. There’s always room for pizza.
  4. A solid sense of humor can get you through just about anything.
  5. If you’re trying to get back on the healthy eating wagon, it’s easy to eat light for breakfast and lunch, but the minute you get home, you’ll want to devour the whole kitchen. Especially if there’s pizza.
  6. Textbooks are way overpriced.
  7. Exercising after a long time of not exercising is hard.
  8. Especially running.
  9. Try all you want, but if you’re used to going to bed at one, then you’ll stay awake until one no matter how early you go to bed.
  10. Turmeric stains stuff.

Families

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1. Eat large amounts of food at annual gatherings.

2. Play made-up games together.

3. Make music together.

4. Discuss Obamacare.

5. Watch exciting movies together.

6. Easy messy food together (without judgment).

7. Have inside jokes.

8. Have their own special language.

9. Know their members at their worst, and still love them.

10. Know their members at their best, and love them all the more.